The Year in Review

2005 was one of the oddest years of my life. I say odd because so many good things happened to me and so many bad things happened. I have always known that those bad things would happen and I was as prepared as one can be for those things. I was so busy preparing for the events themselves that I totally forgot to think about the aftermath.

The bad:
I dealt with the death of 2 of my favorite people.

My half sister was driving her 2 children to soccer practice one morning when she had a heart attack and wrecked her car. The paramedics came and revived her, but she was already brain dead. After a couple of weeks her family decided to take her off of life support, but she continues to hang on only to have her children visit her in a nursing home for the rest of her life.

I waged war on my school district with regard to my son’s education and won a particularly ugly battle; although I do realize that this is only the beginning. I haven’t won the war. My son is only 3; this is merely the first battle.

The company I work for grew. We see so many of our competitors close their doors, so when you manage to not only avoid their fate, but grow a little as well you manage to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

The good:
My son is in a great school. The staff is very supportive and are willing to try anything. No matter how crazy my ideas are they attack them with gusto. I realize how lucky I am.

I didn’t loose any loved ones or property in any natural disasters. I realize how lucky I am.

I am not a millionaire, but I realize that I have a roof over my head, that we eat well and if my son wants or needs something I go to the store and buy it without having to check if it will fit into my budget. I realize how lucky I am.

There are people that love us and care about us and go out of their way to accommodate us. I realize how lucky I am.

In short, I guess 2005 is the year in which I grew up. I know I am not done. I looked at all of the things in my life that were weren’t quite right or didn’t fit and I made a conscience effort to change them. I stopped blaming myself and I stopped punishing myself for past mistakes and made the effort to fix certain situations. I know that not everyone I know is going to agree with my decisions but I finally got to the point where I realize that that is OK.