HELP!

I am one of those people who buys virtually everything on the Interweb. I used to love shopping, but now I would rather walk around bald than set foot in a mall.

I have never had a problem finding what I am looking for until now. Mr. Little Man needs a World Cup Soccer Jersey (Team: GERMANY). I can not find one for the life of me, but he definetly needs one, you know?

If you know where I can get one let me know! I will even step foot inside the mall.

What I am reading: Garden of Eden by Ernest Hemingway. This book totally reminds me of more marriages than I would care to admit (including my own?)
What I am listening to: Its a rainy day in New Jersey so I'm listening to Ella Fitzgerald (one of my all time favorites).

Cheese Makes Me Crazy

I do realize that I am supposed to be "off" of cheese, but sometimes these things can not be avoided. Here are 2 reasons why I should reconsider and completely avoid cheese forever:

1. Friday morning I was shopping at Whole Foods. I used to buy my cheese there because they have a large selection and you can sample. While I am searching for a nice Gruyere for my sandwich a man starts talking to me. First there is small talk about cheese, then there is talk about why neither of us is at work, then we talk about our hobbies and before I know it we are walking around the store telling each other inappropriate jokes and searching for more cheese samples. After spending about 30 minutes with him he tells me about a great dairy in Northern NJ and this little verbal exchange happens:

Him: If I knew how to get a hold of you I could call you the next time I go and you could join me.
Me: Oh, let me give you my e-mail and you can just e-mail me the name and directions.

Now, in hindsight, I totally realize that he was trying to get my number. I have been out of the dating scene for such a long time that I don't even realize when a man wants to pick me up.

2. Last night I went to a party in Brooklyn (Happy Birthday Abby!) where there was a delicious selection of cheese from Wisconsin, so I had to sample. I went home and went straight to bed and then had the following dream:

Some colleagues and I had to fly to England to visit a company that we do alot of work for. Of course, when we got there they told us we were there to compete in some type of Apprentice style challenge. Our team won, so afterward Donald Trump took us to Wendy's for frosties.

I was completely sober when I had this dream, so I have come to the realization that cheese makes me crazy. It is the only logical explanation.

What I am reading: Nothing today. I am feeling a little under the weather so I plan on laying on the couch all day and watching basketball and 24 (Season 1) on DVD.
What I am listening to: Sunday morning music.......Amos Lee, Ray Lamontagne, Remy Shand.

Important fact about ME

This is what someone told me about myself today:

“I have finally gotten you figured out. You like to play stupid, but you really aren’t. You’re just soaking everything in and storing it away for future use, just waiting for the opportune time to strike.”

Ummm, let me clear this up once and for all. He’s kind of right, I am not as dumb as I look; I’m dumber. Although, since this hypothesis took six years to develop I can honestly say he’s the dumbest. Clearly, he thinks of me as some type of criminal mastermind, which is oddly flattering in a mildly disturbing way.

What I am reading: The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. Yes, I know it is a kids book, but it was one of my favorites so I am revisiting. Its been at least 20 years since last I read it.
What I am listening to: Amos Lee......his album (do we still say that or are we saying CD now?) was one of my favorites last year.

January update

January sucks. There is a lot going on but at the same time, there is nothing going on. Folks keep e-mailing me asking why I haven’t posted and, quite honestly, the answer is because I have nothing to report. Actually, that isn’t entirely true. I have a few little things, but nothing of enough substance to make a good blog entry. Here is a (God willing) brief synopsis:

-The exercise/diet program is going well. I do not want to give anyone the idea that this is an intensive program, because that wouldn’t be my style at all. I do yoga once a week (for flexibility), Pilates once a week (I need some serious toning and should do Pilates daily) and I go swimming twice a week. This is more exercise that I have done in the last 4 months. Cold weather turns me into a sloth.

As far as diet goes I have just been more careful about what I eat. I make it a point to eat three square meals, I’ve cut out all sugar and fried food and I don’t eat after 6 pm. The hardest thing is not eating after 6. Joe loves to make reservations for 9 pm.

I’m also following my grandfather’s advice, which was “In the morning one must eat like an emperor, midday one must eat like a prince and in the evening one must eat like a pauper”. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

-My school district has called a meeting to “assess Mr. Little Man’s progress”. This is just a nice way to say they want to see if they can put him in an in-district program because they are tired of sending him to his current school, which I love. The staff there is incredibly supportive and he has come such a long way since he started there. I have let my district know that my lawyer and I would be attending this meeting together because it will take a fucking lawsuit to get me to agree to send him to an in-district school.

-I am getting ready for my vacation. The bitch posse (or girlfriend network if you prefer) and I will be enjoying sand and surf at the Four Seasons in Costa Rica. Mr. Little Man will be staying with his grandparents. I was so psyched and then I realized that my passport has expired. God, I hope my new one arrives in time. I paid for Rush service. I may need to sneak in and out of the country.

-January is a great month for basketball. Gonzaga and Wisconsin are both 14-3 and both are #1 in the respective conference. I am secretly in love with Adam Morrison; at least until the end of the season.

-Mr. Little Man is really into art. He is serious about it and we do art together everyday. Last night as I was cleaning up I realized that a crayon was missing. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but I have had experience with this sort of thing and I know it can only end way. With me scrubbing it off of the wallpaper/furniture/tile (and him doing the happy dance and ignoring my instructions to “never fucking do it again. Damn it!”).

-Battlestar Galactica. Seriously, This Is The. Best. Show. On. Television. Better than Veronica Mars (Ya'll know I love me some VM). I am so happy that the hiatus is over. Also, BSG Podcasts! Laura Roslin is the most calculating person in the fleet and I love her for it. Yes, I am a geek.

Lastly, because people keep asking me about this to0:

What I am reading – I am usually reading 2 or 3 books at the same time. I am reading The Shipping News by Annie Proulx, which is painfully slow. I am re-reading The Complete Maus, which I love despite the fact that it is heartbreaking.

What I am listening to – Colour the Small One by Sia Furler. I love her collaborations with Zero7 and I have wanted this CD for a while, but you could only get it as an import (for $35.00 and I refuse to pay that for a CD). Thankfully, last week they released it in the US. So far, so good.

Rockin' Out to Rush

So this morning, on my way to work, I was listening to Rush. Or rather, more specifically, I was listening to the song A Passage to Bangkok. Now please note, I have heard this song hundreds of times; 2112 is my favorite Rush album.

Clearly, I am mentally deficient, because this morning I finally realized what that song was about. It should also be noted that sometimes I just don’t pay attention.