How Tom Cruise has infected my life

Media saturation of Tom Cruise has got to stop! I turn on the television, he's there. I open the paper, he's there. I get on the interweb, he's there. Its killing me, and this is why: I have dreamt about this man 2 days in a row and all I feel is dirty.

2 days ago I dreamt of him coming over with John Travolta (who, by the way was dressed as Vincent Vega. I kept asking him where Jules Winfield was, but he totally ignored me. I was kind of sad about that because it would have been pretty cool to meet Samuel L. Jackson. But, you know, Snakes on a Plane or whatever). So, anyway, he wanted to spirit Mr. Little Man away to cure him of his autism, because apparently Scientology does that with vitamins. He kept saying, "We have the technology. We can rebuild him" and the entire time he was giving me this spiel the theme from The Six Million Dollar Man played in the background. And yes, I was totally sober when I went to bed.

Then last night, he brought Katie, or Kate, or whatever her name is. This time I tried to shut the door in their faces, but they kept looking in all the windows and trying to talk to me about Xenu and auditing and clearing myself. Tom even went so far as to say that I was being glib and uneducated. Again, creepy and again, sober.

What I am reading: When my Autism Gets too Big - Kari Dunn Buron. It is a relaxtion book for kids with autism. We have had a rough couple of days and it has gotten to the point where it has become difficult to leave the house.
What I am listening to: Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland.