The Story of Joe

Ex boyfriend week continues with the story of Joe. Now, Joe wasn't really a boyfriend, but this is a good story. It's also a story within a story so you may have to re-read.

Mr. Little's Man's first birthday party was a big affair. 25 people came from 4 states to attend and I was telling the following story in my kitchen as I was making dinner. In the kitchen with me were: my mother, Jules, Eric, Anthony (and his then fiance Barb) and the Big E.

Joe worked for a company that my place of business employed as a vendor. We talked on the phone everyday for about 15 months before we actually met. I had just had my son and he used to call me at home while I was on maternity leave to check on me and see how I was doing. One day he suggested that maybe I needed to get out of the house so he invited me out and I happily accepted. I was not thinking this was a date, because, again, I was born without the ability to tell when a man is interested in me.

So, he comes over and he brings gifts for Mr. Little Man....the most beautiful baby clothes that I have ever seen in my life. Joe is from an old world Sicilian family and he asked his sister for help (she is a clothing buyer for a boutique in NYC). I got all these gorgeous handmade Italian baby things, including a cashmere jumper. I just felt really blessed that he'd made such a huge effort.

We go out, have a great time and close the place down. It was the most fun I had in a year. We did this for three consecutive weeks and each time we ended up closing the place down. We just told stories and laughed. And then I went back to work and didn't have time anymore to hang out. We continued to talk on the phone everyday because of work. I didn't think anything of it.

10 months went by and we both happened to be going on vacation at the same time. We were both going to be flying out of the same airport so we decided to meet for coffee while we waited for our planes. Joe used to be a big guy and when I saw him at the airport I almost fell over. The man had lost over 100 lbs. The difference was dramatic to say the least. I was amazed; he looked really good.

I mentioned the weight loss and the asked why he decided to loose weight. He told me that the previous summer he'd gone on a couple of dates with a girl. They'd had a great time and laughed and at the end of each date he took her home and nothing happened. No hug, no kiss, nothing. He said he really liked her but she didn't reciprocate and he felt like she was turned off by his weight. I went on to say that this wasn't possible and that the girl was just shallow and didn't deserve him.

Now at this point everyone in the kitchen starts laughing. I'm not sure I am in on the joke because I don't know what they are laughing at. Jules says, "You know you're the girl, right?" Everyone in the room agreed that I was the girl. And my mother thinks this is the funniest thing ever.

FUCK! It was a possibility that hadn't even crossed my mind, but the more I considered it the more I saw it as an option. I may be the shallow girl. I wasn't turned off by the weight...I just wasn't thinking romance; hello, I'd just had a baby.

The thing is Joe and I still hang out, we still talk on the phone everyday. He left his place of employment and started his own company (which is THRIVING. He really got his mogul on...and is looking to open an office in Baltimore) and I brought my business to him. And I have never, EVER, gotten up the nerve to ask him if I was the girl.

Incidentally: I was in Starbucks yesterday and they had a caramel pecan muffin that was low fat. How is this even possible? Real caramel + pecans does NOT equal low fat.
What I am listening to: Prince - Pink Cashmere