Ex-Boyfriend Week

You know how The Discovery Channel has Shark Week and TBS has Bond Week? Well, I am officially declaring this Ex Boyfriend Week. OK, I probably don't have enough ex boyfriends to fill up an entire week...but I could probably keep this up for 3 or 4 days.

The Exes have been coming out of the woodwork for about a month or two. It's completely out of the blue and it's gotten to the point where I can't ignore them. And honestly, I'm so blindsided by their sudden re-appearance that my desire to figure out why they are making their presence known outweighs any common sense I can muster. The common sense would tell me to turn and run, but, like a moth to the flame I'm stuck there.

So, I'm going to do what any self respecting woman I know would do; I've decided to tell stories about them on my blog.

Day 1 - McJackass

OK, he isn't called McJackass because we had a bad break-up. We had as amicable a break-up as was possible. We really, really, tried to stay friends, because first and foremost thats what we were. It was hard work, but we were making a lot of headway...and then we had the mother of all knock-down drag-outs. And I said some horrible, horrible things to him (things I won't even repeat here because you'll never think of me in the same way).

Anyway, McJackass was damn near bald. He was 10 years older than me and I've got a thing for bald guys, so I was good to go. He, on the other hand, hated being bald. I had really, really long hair at that time.

Also, despite the beginning of the next line let me assure you that this is NOT a sex story. I have no sex stories because I am still a virgin (ignore the fact that I have a child and go with it).

So anyway, at night when we went to bed he would wait until he thought I was asleep. He'd snuggle really close to me; back to back. And then he would put all of my hair on top of his head and pretend it was his. No, really.

At the time I thought it was kind of endearing. Now I just think it's funny. Because I am the meanest queen in the cafeteria.

And because it's only fair...if McJackass had a blog he would tell you that I: snored, ate liverwurst and wouldn't shave my legs for a week in the winter.

What I am reading: The Business of Fancydancing - Sherman Alexie. I've read this about 20 times, but I grabbed it off the bookshelf last night. I needed something quick that I could get into before the Nyquil kicked in.
What I am listening to: Arcade Fire - No Cars Go