Transcripts, Pt. 3

Between Mrs M. (my landlady) and myself:

Mrs. M: So, what are you doing this weekend?
Me: Well, my friend JL is coming for a visit. We talk on the phone almost every day but I haven't actually seen her in 16 years. We are going to the beach.
Mrs. M: Ooooh, that sounds like fun. I hope you'll wear your spandex.
Me: Mrs. M, spandex isn't in style anymore.
Mrs. M: As long as horny men roam the Earth spandex will be in style.

Seriously, how do you argue with that?

What I am reading: Fraud - David Rakoff
What I am listening to: Travis - Peace the Fuck Out

I'd rather look in the mirror and say "Candyman" three times than have to think of a title for this post

Mainly because it is a whole list of unrelated stuff.

1. Mr. Little Man is on a 2 week summer break from school, so he is back in parochial school. Actually, parochial summer camp. This means he gets to wear a uniform every day. I LOVE this because we usually fight every morning about his clothes. There is nothing worse than a 4 year old with fashion sense.

2. My boss has taken up the habit of buying me lunch alot. He asks me what I want, goes out and buys it (he pays) and brings it to my desk, where I eat uninterrupted. This is our busy season and I know he does it so that I can stay here and work (I hate leaving the office), but I still have to question. His niceness is freaking me out.

3. The humidity is killing my hair. I am using alot of leave in conditioner and, of course, the requisite hot oil treatments. My hair still looks good, however, dye is out because that will over-dry. Does anybody have a solution to this? I am on the fast track to salt and pepper and I don't think I could "rock it", you know? Curly haired people unite!

4. I am considering trying out for roller derby next season. I actually think I'd be good at it and I could work out alot of my aggression. Plus, where else can you wear fishnet stockings and a bright pink wig and not get thought of as, well, you know.

5. Confidential to The Gue: I am not dusting. It was merely a phase and I am over it.

6. I have been doing alot with the NJ Student Advocacy Union. We are launching a blog to help parents new to special education and for some reason I am running it. I'll keep you posted as the situation progresses.

What I am reading: I just ordered a whole bunch of new books from Amazon knowing that I do not have time to luxuriate and read as much as I want to, although I am fairly excited about reading Dispatches From The Edge.
What I am listening to: Sean Paul and Keisha Cole - Give It Up To Me. Sean Paul: I adore you but most of the time I have no idea what you are saying. Also, my best friend refers to you as her "baby daddy". You should be proud because you stole the title away from Seal, who is now known as "the guy with the scarred face".

The Tao of The Gue

We spent yesterday in Philadelphia visiting The Gue and Jules. The Gue wanted to take us on a drive in his new car (which I have officially named the PM1) and we ended up in Fishtown.

The Tao of The Gue:
"There are 2 things in the world that smell like fish. One of them is fish"

I swear, sometimes the man just spits wisdom. And, sometimes he does not.

The Joys of Fatherhood

Mr. Little Man's Father checked out of his life before he was ever born. This is okay because:

1. Parenthood is not for everybody.
2. His heart wasn't in it and he probably would have half assed it and we would have fought all the time as a result.
3. I can raise my child the way I want to without having to consider anyone else's feelings (Man, that sounds so selfish).

Anyway, so today is Father's Day and since I am both mother and father I get to reap the rewards. The rule in my house is that if I buy myself something expensive I have to put the same amount of money in Mr. Little Man's college fund. There are 4 exceptions to this rule: Christmas, my birthday, Mother's Day and Father's Day. For my birthday and Christmas I usually buy myself books with the money I get from my parents. For Mother's Day I usually get myself a plant. Father's Day is a stand out holiday in that I usually go BIG with my gift. My first Father's Day I boought myself jewelry. Last year I bought myself some Le Creuset cookware.

I think I am finally growing because this year I realized that Father's Day is not about myself; it's about my son. He is a train fanatic and I have decided to treat US to a weekend at the Strasburg Railroad in Pennsylvania. Thomas the Tank Engine is going to be there (he really likes Thomas and Friends, but honestly, talking trains with faces creep me out).

No matter what he is really going to love it. And I think making your kids happy is really what Father's Day is all about.

What I am reading: Edgar Allen Poe has been on my mind lately. I'll be picking up something by him today.
What I am listening to: Jenny Lewis - Rise Up With Fists!!

Ode to Danny

I know that I have mentioned my friend Danny here before (he of the extraordinary furniture making ability). Well, the man is also an amazing cook. And gardener.

He called me on Sunday to invite me for lunch, but I couldn't make it for about 7 different reasons, so he suggested that I stop by Monday evening and he'd cook for me. OMG, dinner was awesome. I started with wine and double cream cheese and ended with grilled peaches and strawberries over poundcake.

Pictures of food and garden:





What I am reading: Still on the Seven Percent Solution
What I am listening to: Donny Hathaway LIVE

Last Week: By The Numbers

Number of times my boss bought me lunch: 2
Number of times my boss bought me breakfast: 2
Number of Starbucks runs completed by boss on my behalf: 5
(I swear, the man is either making me really happy or really miserable)
Number of times I drove into Manhattan: 4
Number of traffic incidents that occured whilst I was driving in Manhattan: 0
Number of great parking spots I got in Manhattan: 4
(I KNOW. This is a once in a lifetime occurrence)
Number of guys that checked me out: 53
Number of guys I had indecent thoughts about: 54
Number of compliments I received about my shoes: 3
(A random teenager at Target told me that "my shoe game is tight". I have it on good authority that that is a compliment)
Number of playground visits: 8
Gallons of coffee consumed: 7

What I am reading: The Seven Percent Solution by Nicholas Meyer
Summer is here so I will be reading less and less. Swim Club starts this week so we'll be doing alot of swimming and generally luxuriating in the out-of-doors. I know alot of folks read at the beach or the pool but this is impossible to do if your 4 year old refuses to get out of the water.
What I am listening to: The Notorious B.I.G. - The Remixes.

World Cup Time

So, today is the official start of the world cup and, of course, I am excited. Germany won their first game (4-2 against Costa Rica).

For those ladies that are interested UK's The Sun has the Girls Guide to the World Cup.

No matter what make sure that you root for Germany. Because they are totally going to win (and because I went to Kindergarten with one of the guys on the team).

What I am reading: Still on Harry Potter
What I am listening to: Rage Against the Machine - Evil Empire. I am completely hyped about the win and Rage isn't exactly helping with the come down.

Confessions

Yeah, this is gonna be nothing like that Usher song.

Ever since I confessed to eating at Taco Bell every week I have felt the need to tell all my deepest darkest secrets. I don't know why. Also, when I dream about this I picture myself testifying all this stuff in front of some Senate sub-committe.

1. I secretly want an SUV and envy those who drive them. But I refuse to own one largely because of enviornmental and safety issue. Don't get me wrong, I would never tell anyone else what they should drive. If you want one you should get one. And I will continue to covet it from afar (that is, until manufacturers get off their asses and build a safe, reasonably priced hybrid).
2. I watch One Tree Hill. ALOT.
3. I read while driving. When my son is in the car with me (a total of 4.2 miles daily), I am super cautious about driving. My hands are at 10 and 2 and I drive 5 miles below the speed limit. Occasionally we will push the envelope by singing some Sesame Street songs. When I am alone I read. At stop lights. During traffic jams. I usually manage to get through an entire chapter on my way home. Reading whilst driving is like crack to me.
4. I dance in the car. Is that much of a confession? Everyone does that, right?
5. I only balance my checkbook once a month. I am very good with money, but I rarely carry cash. I save all of my receipts and then once a month I do battle with my checkbook. Shut up; it works for me.

What I am reading: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
What I am listening to: Rascal Flatts and Kelly Clarkson - What Hurts the Most. Awesome song; awesome combo.

Someone got caught doing a DRIVE BY

For those of you that don't know........this is what a stalker would do.

What I am reading: Chelation research on the web.
What I am listening to: Sophie Barker - Earthbound

I LOVE THE INTERNET!!!

My Friday night routine is basically: come home, take Mr. Little Man to the park, come home, get him in the tub and while I make his dinner order myself some Chinese Food. I love Chinese food. Always have, always will. But, you've got to admit; there is alot of really crappy Chinese food out there. Which is why I have been ordering Chinese from the same restaurant for 7 years (that is my longest relationship ever).

So, last night I could not find the menu and I wanted something different. I figured that everyone has a website, right? I could just find the menu on the net and call them to place my order. Sure enough, found the site, found the menu and then discovered that I could PLACE MY ORDER ONLINE. Dude, I am not kidding. Chinese food that you can order online. I placed my order, paid for it and then it arrived more delicious than ever. I am absolutely amazed by this.

Once Target starts to deliver I am never leaving my house.

P.S. I also love the absolute delicious tackiness of the Eurovision song contest. It does not air on American television.....which has lead me to YouTube. Man, that site is awesome.

P.P.S. I know you think Chinese food and You Tube is a crappy way to spend a Friday night and that I should get a life. But, trust me, my Friday night was BRILLIANT!

What I am reading: Embroideries by Marjane Sartrapi (even though I read it like 3 weeks ago)
What I am listening to: The Sweetest Thing - Lauryn Hill (Although technically this is billed as The Refugee Camp All Stars). I've always had a special place in my heart for that song.

May Sweeps in June

So, a long ass time ago I wrote an entry about what happened during the finales of my 5 favorite TV shows. The entry was pretty amusing and BLOGGER ATE IT. And I was angry. So angry in fact that I have ignored Blogger for a while.

And now it is June and I still want to write about sweeps despite the fact that that that happened last month. I know I will not be able to duplicate the awesomeness of the last post, but I need to get over the lost post so that I can move on, you know. Here goes:

1. Veronica Mars - I totally called Beaver as the bomber. In November. Season 1 of VM was AWESOME. So many twists and turns and I was playing the guessing game until the end. Season 2 just suffered from the sophomore slump. It was good, but it wasn't brilliant. I am hoping for better things for season 3.

2. House - Seriously, what the hell was that all about? I am on the fence with this one because I didn't love it and I didn't hate it. I'm just kind of....indifferent?

3. Grey's Anatomy - Love, thy name is Alex Karev. You are the biggest asshole on the show, but damn you pull it through when you need to. You are a friend in my head. I am so over Meredith and could care less about that stupid triangle. Izzie and Denny - dear lord people! I am just so incredibly sad that I am emotionally invested in the faux lives of FICTIONAL characters. Also, Christina, I am breaking up with you. Our love affair is officially over because of that crap you pulled with Burke (who is both HAWT! and puts up with your crap.). Sister, it doesn't get much better than that.

4. CSI - I spent so much time staring at that CSI photo that was supposed to provide clues to the finale expecting that things would actually happen (like Nick getting actual blood on himself versus someone making an Interview with the Vampire joke). Nothing major happened, although GSR was confirmed (thats Grissom / Sara Romance for those of you who aren't geeks like myself). This doesn not look like a new thing; these folks are in relationship land. HOW LONG AS THIS BEEN GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK??

What I am reading: I am too busy being addicted to Sudoko to read.
What I am listening to: Sting - Fields of Gold