Craig's List: Who's Who of Mental Illness

A play, in 3 parts (alternate title: Flaky. I suppose if I wanted to name it something more creative we could also go with I hate Craig's List with enough fury to burn 10,000 suns).

Part 1, December 2007: The Gue calls me to ask if I'd like to go see The National with him on February 8, 2007. I check my calender; I have no plans and heartily agree to attend.

Part 2, January 2008: The Gue calls to tell me that he made a mistake. The concert is in fact on February 22, not February 8. Do I still want to go? I check my schedule, things aren't looking good so I flake. Shortly thereafter The Gue flakes as well (mainly because he knows that seeing The National in concert without me will be no fun. It's a lot like riding in first class; once you've been there coach class is unacceptable).

But what to do with the tickets? The show is now sold out and people have suddenly discovered what we've known for years: The National are awesome. Tickets are in high demand.

Part 3, February 2008: The Gue advertises them on Craig's List. He gets a good response and finds a buyer that is willing to pay substantially more than face value. The Gue lives in Philly, I live outside of NYC, so he mails me the tickets and I agree to make the exchange on his behalf. The buyer is flaky and can not agree to a time, a date or even a meeting location. I'm not the most patient of people so after a week (that patience thing may have been a joke) I decide to re-list them on Craig's List. Granted I just wanted to get rid of the tickets and didn't put too much thought into my ad, which reads as follows:

2 tickets to see The National on February 22, 2008 at 8 pm at the Howard Gilman Opera House in Brooklyn

Mezzanine Level Row L

BEST OFFER

You must pick these tickets up in New Jersey. You must bring cash. And yes, I will meet you in a brightly lit area to make the exchange.

I get responses from 12 people asking if the tickets are still available. 9 of these people ask me if the seats are orchestra (read the ad). 5 of the these people ask me when the show is (dude, read the ad). 3 of these people ask me where the show is (dude, read the fucking ad). NONE of the people are able to commit to a price. Or a time to meet to exchange money for tickets. A combination of all these factore leads me to believe that Craig's List attracts the Who's Who if Mental Illness. Well, that or illiterate. Or people that can't comprehend simple statements.

The Gue is willing to just write the whole thing off because by now both of us are exasperated. We're tired of Craig's List. And the people that frequent Craig's List. I abhorr the thought of letting the tickets go to waste and keep trying to nudge The Gue into biting the bullet and just going to see the damn show.

This morning I get up to find 6" of snow on my doorstep and more on it's way. This is all just a very nice way of saying that we will not be heading to Brooklyn to see The National.

See you in hell Craig's List.