Thoughts that currently occupy my time

1. Paranoia about whether or not the air conditioner will fall out of the window.
2. Wondering whether or not surviving a day at the sweatshop without committing murder warrants an award of shoes.
3. Trying to remind myself every. single. day to pick up a copy of Fearless Fourteen. Even though I am not consuming.
4. Hiring a new nanny.
5. Planning Mr. Little Man's summer - His sperm donor is not really cooperating with my event planning. Ordinarily I would try to make excuses for him but I've learned that lowering my expectations makes me a happier person.
6. Visits from the parental units. I'm already contemplating whether or not the boyfriend (I'm not really sure that he is the boyfriend, but I don't know what else to call him) should make an appearance. I should probably ask him but he's finding about about my parent's visit the same way you are: by reading my blog.
7. Burned out headlight on the Silver Bullet. Its been burned out for a month and I keep forgetting to get a new bulb. It's not brain surgery.
8. Abalone necklaces and abalone flip flops. I really like abalone....which brings us to my current shoe obsession:


Cute, right?

9. Staying on topic? Apparently not.
10. Why my current method of birth control has caused me to gain 10 lbs. For those of you wondering my current method is celibacy.
11. Christmas shopping. I know XMAS is 6 months away, but I started early this year (I usually try to wait until August).
12. Coffee detox....which is hell.

What I am reading: Bank statement (SHUDDER!)
What I am listening to: Belle & Sebastian - To Be Myself Completely

A Steve Wozniak to call my own

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List is back on TV. I have no problem admitting that I absolutely adore Kathy Griffin. She's cute and feisty and I can't help but feel like if we knew each other in real life she'd be an instant member of the bitch posse.

Kathy is not grabbing my attention at all this season and the reason why? STEVE WOZNIAK. She can not compete. There were 3 things that did it for me:

#1 - Watching him ride up the driveway on his Segway
#2 - Watching him hack Kathy's iPhone
#3 - Bringing Kathy chocolates and then not eating any himself because he doesn't really like chocolate (MORE FOR ME!)

All of these things are so deliciously dorky that I couldn't help but become smitten. This guy is totally up my alley. Not too thin...super smart...totally aDORKable and he seems to have a generally sunny disposition. Seriously, I sit rapt in front of the TV waiting for him to make his entrance. I have absolutely no idea what Team Griffin is doing.

Usually I don't like to go for the billionaires (I like the thousandaires) because I don't really feel like I have a lot in common with them. They generally have a hard time identifying with the problems of a single mother. But dammit, the Woz shops at Men's Wearhouse and loves their 2 for $199 deal. Honestly? How can you not love the 2 for $199 deal? And he could teach me how to hack an iPhone while I ate an entire bag of Hershey's Kisses that I didn't even have to share with him (ummm, not that I have ever done that).

It really is too bad for Steve that I am currently not taking boyfriend applications.

What I am reading: For the past couple of weeks MSNBC has been doing a series about being "Multiracial in America", which I really love.
What I am listening to: I'm playing old school today...The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me.