Stories I've Been Meaning to Tell, Pt. 1

Last winter, in preparation for my upcoming vacation, I decided to see a dermatologist for the first time since the teen years (when I had acne like no one else on Earth). I have some sun spots and they had been getting slightly larger so I figured I'd better get myself to the doctor before things got out of hand.

She looked at the spots and said, "It's not cancer. Yet." She advised me to check the spots occasionally and make sure that they were staying uniform in size and color. Then I asked her if I should be using anything particular on my skin. I often feel like I don't articulate things well enough because what I meant was what type of product should I be using, i.e., a particular moisturizer or cleanser?

The answer I got was "BOTOX". The woman did not miss a beat as she launched into this long tirade about how it would solve my problem with wrinkles. Up until this point I didn't even think I had wrinkles. Although, in all honesty, I hadn't even thought about aging, wrinkles or even eye cream.

The more I thought about it the more I realized she was just trying to pad her bottom line by feeding into insecurities that I didn't have (again, too lazy to care much about what I look like).

Now, of course, I have a whole other problem. I have developed a very unusual skin texture and my skin has become very blotchy (I swear my skin looks either extremely yellow or bright red). I have been ignoring it for about 3 months, but it just got to the point where I needed to go back to the dermatologist, albeit, a different dermatologist.

I asked around and several people kept directing me to a doctor that everyone descrbed as "great". She prescribed a cream for my skin issues and as she handed me the application directions she mentioned in passing that it would also help with my wrinkles.

I can not win. Apparently I do have wrinkles, or every dermatologist that I end up seeing is a complete ass.

What I am reading: I am drag assing here folks.....I still haven't finished Stardust.
What I am listening to: Miles Davis - Love Songs