I need Tim Gunn

The industry I work in has an annual conference that attracts thousands of people from all over the world. Its actually a fun affair. This year (for the first time ever) the conference will be held in New York. Since this is our home territory we are playing host of several affairs. And I have NO idea what to wear.

I am able to dress myself for most occasions, but because we'll be going out and about with folks from several countries I am trying to conform and I have lost all sense of normality. The Europeans generally tend to overdress and the Asians arrived a week ago to shop the latest in what I will only describe as "denim couture"...and actual couture. The folks from South America just dress boldly.

My schedule:
Friday night - dinner in NYC
Saturday - dinner in NYC, followed by a Broadway show
Sunday - Football game, Gala convention kick off (black tie)
Monday - dinner in NYC
Tuesday - cocktail reception starting at 11. In the morning.

I'm not sure what is happening for the rest of the week because after 5 days of continual going out I will be bowing out of the festivities for sleep.

It is non stop action and I have considered so many outfits that I think my head is about to explode. I don't lack clothes; I've got lots to choose from (63 pairs of pants alone). I just don't know what to wear.

My biggest problem is the Gala. A week ago I narrowed my selection to 6 dresses (all hanging in my closet). Last night I sent pictures of the final 3 possibilities to the bitch posse and all of the dresses got an equal number of votes. (SIDEBAR: In a freakish twist of fate the strapless dress is actually the dress that shows the least amount of cleavage. Also, depending on water retention it may or may not make me look like a linebacker. I have tried in vain to find a way to hide my breasts, including, but not limited to, searching for a turtleneck dress, but that just makes things worse.)

I need to find Tim Gunn and he needs to dress me. I also have a little bit of a crush on him, but that is beside the point. MAKE IT WORK!

What I am reading: New shipping regulations to Africa. No, really.
What I am listening to: Stronger - Kanye West. The Gala will feature a band. I'm pretty sure the band won't perform any Kanye songs.