The Nanny Diaries

One of the things that added to my summer woes was the search for a new nanny. Or rather the search that brought me 3 nannies in 3 months.

No one ever thinks that child care is a big deal until they have a child that needs caring for. If money were no object I'd love to stay home and be a housewife (or whatever they call it when you stay home and take care of a household without actually being someone's wife), but unfortunately, like most of the population, I still have to slave away at the sweatshop.

The nanny that we'd had for 16 months we adored, but there was 1 problem. She was habitually late. She was great with Mr. Little Man; she just could not be on time to save her life. The bus would arrive to drop Mr. Little Man off after school and she would not be there. It was just too much stress for me because everyday at 3 pm I'd have to steel myself for the inevitable phone call telling me she wasn't there. It was just too much.

So we found a new nanny. And that didn't work out....and then we found new nanny #2...and that didn't work out either. Fast forward to nanny #3, who we shall call M (but in reality I should probably refer to her as Q). And yes, those are James Bond references.

We love M. We may have had a slight mis-step on her first day when Mr. Little Man, who is almost as tall as her, reached out and touched her breasts in his first attempt at playing Tune In Tokyo. I, was, of course, MORTIFIED. Thank God she didn't think it was a big deal.

The thing is when you hire someone you never know what you are gonna get. Are they going to go through your mail, steal your identity and ruin your credit forever? Are they going to eat all the chocolate in the house so that when you're PMSing and in dire need there is none left? Are they even going to bother to look after your child, much less take him to the park and encourage him to do crafts? It's a scary thing. Especially since I am one of those people that thinks that not having a criminal record means you simply haven't been caught yet.

We lucked out with M (Q?). Actually, I kind of feel like I hit the jackpot after all the sturm and drang of the summer. Mr. Little Man has taken to her really well (mainly because she allows him to be the boss).

It often happens that by the time Mr. Little Man gets off the bus he just wants to be alone. He's had people in his face all day and he just needs a little alone time with the TV. As a result of this M gets bored, so she cleans. My house. Better than me. She makes the beds and does the breakfast dishes (I always leave them in the sink). She dusts and vacuums. Yesterday she organized my office and cleaned the windows...BECAUSE SHE WAS BORED. Seriously, JACKPOT!! She has freed up a significant portion of my time so that me and Mr. Little Man and I get to go out and do fun things when I get home instead of me worrying about trivial crap like cleaning.

I don't care what I have to pay her; she's never leaving.


And, just for the hell of it, I present to you a video....Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepa & Spinderella: