Transcripts, Pt. 6

Again, with JL. Again, via email.

(Honestly. I swear, I do, in fact, have other friends with whom I converse on a regular basis)

Me: What are you eating?
JL: I'm going to cook a beef stew casserole. It comes in a box. And includes the beef. I just add water.
Me: Seriously, how does it include beef if it comes in a box?
JL: I'm sorry, I wrote that wrong. It's "Beef" (note the quotation marks).
Me: I don't even know what that means.
JL: It's like "cheese product" ... it's a "meat product" ... with some
"vegetable product" thrown in. I may be off-base here, but there might also be some chemicals involved.

Sometimes I sit back and realize that it may in fact be a miracle that JL continues to draw breath on a daily basis.