New York Confidential

Confidential to the man that accosted me on 7th Avenue in Manhattan on Saturday night: Initially I thought you were a little bit weird because you serenaded me; I knew you were an absolute psychopath when you threatened to burn me with a cigarette if I didn't give you my phone number. I believe you realized I was the nuttiest of all when I threatened to kick you in the nuts and light your sorry ass on fire if you didn't get the fuck away from me. Seriously, don't try to intimidate women you do not know. There are a lot of crazy people out there. And now you know I am one of them.

Confidential to the powers that be: I think it would be awesome if you would allow me to find my gray matte jersey cardigan. I have rockin' new boots and they'd match so beautifully together.

Confidential to Dillon Campbell: Thanks so much for inviting me to your show. I had a Gala and couldn't attend, but you're awesome, so I'll catch your next show.

Confidential to everyone at the conference: It is so nice to see everyone again. I love hanging out and laughing with you all, but you need to go home. I have gone out 4 nights in a row. I can not continue to live this rock and roll lifestyle. I miss my son, I miss sleep, I miss eating less that the guy who died of gluttony in the movie "Seven". The sooner you go home the sooner I can continue my quiet suburban life. And give my liver time to heal...before the next convention.

What I am reading: All my energy is focused on the conference. What little time I have left goes to Mr. Little Man. We still get to eat breakfast together and I still put him on the bus every morning, but for the last 4 days the nanny has made him his dinner and that makes me sad.
What I am listening to: Lots of accents. Those Scotsmen could honestly just come to my house and read me the phone book and I'd be happy.