Either the best advice ever given, or the worst

I am having drinks this afternoon with a friend that will henceforth be referred to as The Irish Roommate. Since he is the proud owner of both a pulse and a penis JL thinks he's fair game.

We were on the phone and she gave me a list of things I had to bring along with me and at the time I wasn't paying a lot of attention.

Our email conversation follows (I had to edit some portion of the convo):
Me: OK, so what do I have to bring with me tomorrow and more importantly why? Also, I know you want him to sleep with him but, no.
JL: If you're not sleeping with him you don't need to bring anything .....if you are sure you will not have sex you can just go and be yourself. Blah, blah, totally boring. I really think you should sleep with him. I need to live vicariously.
Me: And how do you suggest I even broach that subject?
JL: You're kidding me, right? Okayyyyy .... after the beers you will both be loosened up. Then you tell him you'd love to see his apartment. It's really THAT easy! Or, you can say that you'd like to keep talking to him, but maybe in a more private setting ... and suggest a nearby hotel?
Me: I refuse to talk to you about this any longer. Mainly because you make me laugh.
JL: Dude. I am entirely serious. And I can't believe i even have to give you a talk on this. I am telling you how to initiate sex ... YOU ... ummm ... why don't you just tell him you want to ride him till his knees buckle and he pops like warm champagne?

All of my friends are like this. All of them. I think I may need new friends.