Let me tell you about my snake

The powers that be have blessed me with a child that has a hatred of all 4 legged mammals (and most things that qualify as 2 legged mammals as well). As such the purchase of a pet is somewhat difficult. We used to have a goldfish named "Hollywood". Mr. Little Man always attempted to hand feed him and I think that honestly the poor thing finally just died of a heart attack. We flushed him and Mr. Little Man gave him an enthusiastic wave and screamed, "Goodbye Hollywood". It's possible he has seen Finding Nemo one too many times.

Every year we take a trip to Baltimore to the Aquarium, which he loves. He could care less about the fish what he really loves are the reptiles and amphibians. He has taken a very keen interest in frogs and turtles.

For the last 6 months or so I've really gotten interested in getting him a pet. Every 5 year old boy should have a pet, right? I have never been to keen on the idea of a cat. It's probably fair to say they creep me out and I hate them with the burning fury of 1,000 suns; so that is not an option. Lots of folks in the neighborhood have dogs and every single time one crosses out path Mr. Little Man screams in terror; so that isn't an option either. What we've got here folks leads straight down the path of the "nontraditional pet".

I settled on a turtle. I was going to name her "Truly Scrumptious"....just like in that cinematic masterpiece, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Alas, turtles are illegal in my state (salmonella). Our next stop was a frog, but I didn't want a boring old tree frog; I was looking for something carnivorous. They, too are hard to come by (side bar: my room mate and I had an Argentine Horned frog in college. His name was ROcket and he did not eat for 15 months).

I finally settled on getting some type of lizard. Preferably a vegetarian species. An iguana or chameleon would be pretty cool. Perhaps even a gecko (they have awesome toe pads or setae or whatever they're called). The chameleon would have been awesome, but was disqualified due to it's status as a meat eater. What I ended up with was a snake.

My friends Nick and Ray are leaving New Jersey for the bright lights of Las Vegas. Nick has a snake that he found in his yard 2 years ago that he has adopted as a pet. It didn't have a name so I've decided to call her Rick. A mash-up of Nick and Ray, since I am going to miss them tremendously. Rick is a very small snake; only about 8" long. Considering Nick had her for such a long time I feel like she should be bigger, but she has been eating regularly so I'm not gonna worry about it. Honestly, my days of taking care of 15' snakes are over.

And yes, I'll save that story for another time.

If this were Grey's Anatomy: I would be the Christina Yang to JL's Meredith Grey.
What I am listening to: Matt Nathanson - Car Crash